Stress, Who is to Blame?


Stress is one of the most destructive forces in nature, and it can bring even the strongest to their knees.

There are many causes of stress, it could be working to a tight deadline, it could be our boss putting the squeeze on us, or to it could be that we are in a bad situation and we don’t see a way out.

A lot of stress is actually caused by ourselves, for a variety of reasons, and yet we feel that there is nothing we can do. But if we cause that stress, then we should be able to stop doing that, but too often we don’t see that it is ourselves applying the stress.

We look to blame others, and they may contribute, but too often we are our own worst enemies when it comes to applying stress on ourselves.

We need to be able to step back and see that it’s ourselves that is applying the stress, if we can do that, then we can start to take steps to reduce it.

Anxiety is a major cause of stress, and anxiety can be caused by a feeling of powerlessness.

We can look to reduce our anxiety by looking to increase our options, if we have options then we have the power to take a different options and now we have reduced our powerlessness.

mr burnsA few years ago I worked for a boss who I thought made my life hell, I blamed him for everything and I found this to be a very stressful situation.

This negative feeling was not only stressful, but didn’t help me, negative perspectives attract negative energy and the last thing we need in this situation is more negative energy, as it starts to create a downward self feeding spiral.


We need to see that we are adding to that stress, and we need to see what we can do to stop it.

First thing to do is to accept that we are to blame, and then ask ourselves what we can do to change out behaviour. No we are looking for option that we can control, reducing our feeling of powerless.

accepting blameIf the situation is making us unhappy, we need to realises we are giving someone else control of our mood. We don’t have to do that, we can take control of that and choose to be happy, again this will help reduce our stress.

I know what you’re thinking, its not possible to be happy. Well try smiling, it’s hard not to feel happier when you’re smiling, even if the smile feels forced to start with.

As we start to take a more positive approach we will start to attract more positive energy, which will help us stop the downward spiral.

control 2As we start this positive feeling we should really open ourselves to possibilities, look for other options, no matter what they are, because again this gives us choice and with choice comes power, and increased control.

If we are in a situation we truly hate and we have an option, then we have a way out!

It might not lead to where we want to go, but it will get us out of the situation we are in.

Often I see people in situations that they hate, but they have an option to get out, but they don’t take it because they say they don’t like that option.

It’s strange to see people stay where they hate rather than move to something they don’t like. They don’t see that they are maintaining the problem rather than taking steps to change it.

We have more power and control than we actually believe, we just need to realise it and start to take more control.

We might not be able to get full control, but more control is always possible, and with more control we can improve the situation.

I hope this has been helpful, let me know your thoughts.



Gordon Tredgold

Leadership Principles